Over you, Over you...

So last night was probably the most amazing night I have ever experienced!

I am so thankful for the friends I have,

the amazing people I meet,

and all the love we all show each other.

I really enjoyed last night's show.

The fans were awesome,

The atmosphere was awesome,

and it was LOUD!

I really enjoyed moving back from the front row. I was right up front but all the people right behind me that were my friends were a lot shorter than me. As soon as T&S came up, I moved back.

I was about 10 rows or more back when it all was said or done.

However, I knew that I had made so many more people's experiences that much better.

That is all that mattered to me.

I've seen them a few times now,

I have the tattoos.

I am a true fan.

I wanted other people to have the opportunity to get up front and enjoy the gift of music.

I truly thank God for the entire experience.

I know that lifestyle is supposedly frowned upon in the bible.

But my heart, my faith belongs to the Lord.

And I love everyone, regardless of who they love.

That is why I don't see anything wrong with it.

I love being around my friends

and meeting so many new people who share that love for music,

for Tegan and Sara.

I am walking a new path with my God.

I am forgiven,

and I love it!

Still walking...

I am extremely excited about everything going on in my life right now. I have a lot going on, a lot of pressure, but good pressure. I am looking at houses seriously now. I know it's going to take a lot of work and I am extremely excited about that! So that's what I am in the process of doing now. I know with His guidance, it will all work out.






I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world 
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

"Walk..."

I was thinking for the longest time that what I was doing
was not what God wanted me to do.
And then I over analyzed it.

I spent too much time trying to figure out what God had planned for me.

I spent too much time trying to convince myself that this was right,

or no this was wrong,

or no wait again,

maybe I was right.

Then I didn't know which was right or wrong.

The other morning I was sitting on my computer chair...

and my door opened. It didn't just pop open.

It actually opened up and swung open.

It wasn't violent or fast...

it looked as though someone opened the door and walked in.

Now -- my bedroom door is broken and jacked up. 

It doesn't close half the time anyway. 

But then it dawned on me;

It wasn't that I was so far gone that God had let me fall by the wayside.

It wasn't that God didn't care.

It was that I was too far in my head to just listen.

I spent so much time trying to talk for Him and not listen to Him.

So I listened.

I put my Faith in Him,

and KNEW that no matter what happened

it would all work out for the best.

I don't fill my voids with people now.

I don't try to convince myself that I am this terrible person for what I've done.

I am not terrible in any way, shape, or form.

I am me. 

I am not perfect, but I bring energy and light into a room.
I am strong and passionate.

I am sensitive and awesome.

I have found my Faith again.

I have finally heard His voice.

I will push forward being strong and loving.
I will not let people belittle me or condemn my own choices.

That is between me and my maker.

I am selling my old motorcycle today, if it isn't raining.

I am ordering my Harley next month once I get my new living situation figured out.

And I am going to ride, ride, ride...

and feel the joy of living this life.

I loved the movie "Whip It."

Which takes me to the point that I no longer let movies guide me through life. 

I was a fool for that.
Movies are just movies.
I can now turn off my brain and just enjoy movies.

I love it.

I love life.

I feel so alive.

2 Corinthians 5:7

"That ain't me."

Some things are inevitable it may appear. 

The grass will turn green,

the clouds eventually go away, 

and when it is supposed to happen it will.

I have become such a more patient,

more understanding person this last year.

I, however, am still very stubborn.

I know there are certain people that will never be out of my life.

I shouldn't try and fight it.

Pieces of my heart will forever belong to certain people.

In the meantime, I am selling my Tahoe.

I am actually going to do it. 

I am very excited about that.

"Walk by faith, not by sight."