My love is like a blanket...

I watched a British film the other day, because that is what I do. There was this little speech of sorts that this guy gives at the end. He said:

"Neither one of you two know anything about women... The rest of us, I mean we just try to do everything by the book. And we're the ones that get shafted. We try to be what they want us to be. Ya know, we become reliable, mature, domesticated. And then what happens? They get bored. That's what happens. If all women really want is a pet, why don't they just buy a fucking Labrador. Well I've had enough being told to shit, and lie down, and roll over, and play dead. From now on, what you see is what you get."

And when I was listening to him say this, something kind of clicked inside of me. I don't know what it was but something made me realize I was in this guys shoes. However, I had stayed there too long, I'd become bitter, but then I didn't snap out of it. It became my mentality. I have been so bitter towards women that I didn't even see it anymore. I used to be such a sweet and loving guy. I used to love to pamper girls, make gifts, bend over backwards for them. I used to "lie down, roll over, and play dead." That was dumb on my part. I fell for the wrong ones. The ones that were too selfish to ever do anything for anyone other than themselves. They expected anything and everyone to look out for them, to take care of them. The sad thing is, they were so bitter and self-absorbed that they think I did something wrong to them. Now granted, back in HS I was a terrible bf. Same as in college. But I was good to these last three and they just used me.

People get burned all of the time, they let go and move on. But it seems like everyone around me, myself included, cannot get past anything anymore. We hold on to everything too long. Well I cut my losses... as of this moment right now. Yeah -- I am alone, but for how long? It's been 8 months and I've learned a lot about myself and about life since then. I am looking for a roommate now, making an offer an a house, and getting ready to start living the life I choose. There is no rush, no matter what happens this year, or next, or the year after... it just doesn't matter. As long as I am happy, proud of my decisions going forward, and loving each moment -- that is all that matters. This is just the start, it's not the finish line.

PS. MB -- you are a terrible friend but I love you more than you will ever know! See you soon.