Leading the One Man Revolution

(Missy Higgins live in KC -- The greatest Night of my life... nobody even knows)

I've been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen

Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I'd never give up

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

You get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well who hasn't been there before?
I come round, around the hard way
Bring you comics in bed, scrape the mold off the bread
And serve you french toast again

Well, o.k. I still get stoned
I'm not the kind of girl you'd take home

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

We've been far, far away from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos
And everywhere in between
Well, o.k. we get along
So what if right now everything's wrong?

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad

Too often we are afraid of doing things that may rock the boat, or cause a ripple effect. Simply, we need to do what makes us happy. As long as you aren't hurting yourself or someone else -- then it is what it is. Sometimes we have to stop being afraid. We all make bad choices, some of us stick around in those bad decisions because are afraid of finding what is really out there. Maybe we are afraid of taking a chance, a risk, and failing or being let down.

I can't live like that anymore. I was so afraid of taking a risk at one point in my life, so I let go and moved on. I made probably the two worst decisions of my life consequently. However, I am now where I am today -- thinking how I think, feeling how I feel, doing what I do. I don't have skeletons in my closet. It is what it is. I dated someone that was too young for me and I learned my lesson. But it is what it is.

Now I am listening to everyone, my friends, my family -- and they think I am lost because I have been alone for almost a year now. They think I don't have shit figured out or that I know what my plan is. But I still have a plan. I still know exactly where I am in life and what I am going to be doing with my life. That is not the problem. So instead of trying to appease everyone's insecurities, I am going to keep doing what I am doing... being a real rock'n'rolla. I am half-way to making it all happen.

"SO WHAT IF RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING IS WRONG?
IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!!
IT CAN'T BE THAT BAD..."

I am not longer afraid of feeling how I feel.

Everyone should listen to the Sheryl Crow song... and they should enjoy every single time that she begins singing the chorus and how passionate she really sounds. And the lyrics are so true -- if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.

Now for me, I am going to go work out like I used to do. I am going to sweat, burn, and love it. I am going to have little league practice, and then I am going to come home listen to music LOUDLY in my headphones, and then go to sleep... alone.

I grew up looking for my Annabel Lee... f--- that. She can come find me.