"Walk..."

I was thinking for the longest time that what I was doing
was not what God wanted me to do.
And then I over analyzed it.

I spent too much time trying to figure out what God had planned for me.

I spent too much time trying to convince myself that this was right,

or no this was wrong,

or no wait again,

maybe I was right.

Then I didn't know which was right or wrong.

The other morning I was sitting on my computer chair...

and my door opened. It didn't just pop open.

It actually opened up and swung open.

It wasn't violent or fast...

it looked as though someone opened the door and walked in.

Now -- my bedroom door is broken and jacked up. 

It doesn't close half the time anyway. 

But then it dawned on me;

It wasn't that I was so far gone that God had let me fall by the wayside.

It wasn't that God didn't care.

It was that I was too far in my head to just listen.

I spent so much time trying to talk for Him and not listen to Him.

So I listened.

I put my Faith in Him,

and KNEW that no matter what happened

it would all work out for the best.

I don't fill my voids with people now.

I don't try to convince myself that I am this terrible person for what I've done.

I am not terrible in any way, shape, or form.

I am me. 

I am not perfect, but I bring energy and light into a room.
I am strong and passionate.

I am sensitive and awesome.

I have found my Faith again.

I have finally heard His voice.

I will push forward being strong and loving.
I will not let people belittle me or condemn my own choices.

That is between me and my maker.

I am selling my old motorcycle today, if it isn't raining.

I am ordering my Harley next month once I get my new living situation figured out.

And I am going to ride, ride, ride...

and feel the joy of living this life.

I loved the movie "Whip It."

Which takes me to the point that I no longer let movies guide me through life. 

I was a fool for that.
Movies are just movies.
I can now turn off my brain and just enjoy movies.

I love it.

I love life.

I feel so alive.

2 Corinthians 5:7